Things You Learn From The Movies

The following is from a T-Shirt I gave to Brian for Christmas that I got from Kohl's. I thought you might be able to add some of your own.

• Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel back and forth.
• One of a pair of identical twins is sinister
• Good guys never run out of ammunition or ever have to reload
• When you turn out the lights, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, but slightly blue.
• When chased on a staircase, always run upstairs rather than down.
• If being chased through town, you can take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade at any time of the year.
• Dogs always know who's bad, and bark at them.
• A police detective can only solve a case after he has been suspended from duty.
• It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
• If staying in a haunted house, women investigate strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
• A man will show no pain taking the most horrific beating, but will wince when a woman cleans his wounds.
• Cars never start when you are running away from the bad guy.
• Honest, hardworking policemen are usually gunned down a day before retirement.
• If a tapping sound or flashing light represents Morse code, there is always someone near that can decipher the message.
• During all crime investigations, it is necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
• TV news bulletins contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
• Bombs always have big, blinking, beeping, timer displays.
• Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paper clip.
• Pretty blonde women can be world-famous experts on nuclear fission, dinosaurs, hieroglyphics or anything else at the age of 21.
• Explosions in space make noise.