By Ritagail Burleson

Barbara emailed me the following story and I in turn contacted the author and asked if I could pass it along here. Here are links to her website and blog:
http://drawingonfaith.tripod.com
http://drawingonfaith.tripod.com/ritagail


I was going to write stories/poems around this theme, call the whole
collection "Modulation" or something like that, but, I am sewing these days
and so I want to write this now in case it will benefit somebody else and
in case I don't get that other writing finished.

According to many standards, I have every right in the world to turn
into a bitter middle-aged woman. I know some people with fewer reasons, who
turned bitter/vengeful/"closed" perhaps even younger than I am now (46)
and carried it into their later years, even to their graves (both men and
women).

I'm terrified of doing that. The temptation is very strong. It's a
lot easier to close down and shun everyone else. Put on a hard shell to try
to keep out other peoples' barbs. Trouble is, it also keeps out other
peoples' blessings.

Let me share with you something that almost all of us have to do: Wait
in line at the checkout. Yesterday, it was the "20 or less" checkout at
Walmart Supercenter. I have to be careful when I wait in line, the visual
activity going on around me, the mixture of
voices........and........those checkout "beeps" can send me into neural overload.
So, usually I will
do everything I can to get out of there as quickly as possible.

But, yesterday, there was a lady who was trying to figure out what she
could and could not get on what looked like her WIC voucher.....at least
that's what they called it when I got it for our family. WIC is a program
where families with young children (think it's income based, but not sure)
can get a voucher for food items like milk, juice, cheese, cereal. It's
a good program and families are grateful for it.

Anyway, back to waiting in line.......this woman was trying to figure
out with the checker what was and was not allowed on the voucher. And,
yes, it took some time to figure it out. I think there were at least 3
people in front of me.........each one of them did a "mad dash" for another
checkout because they were in a hurry, and, evidently there were others who
had before I got on the scene. I stayed in line and waited.

Another lady waited behind me.

The mother with the WIC voucher was very flustered and, I would guess,
embarrassed. I remember that feeling. When she looked over at me to
apologize for taking so long, I said, "You're just a Mom trying to feed your
family.......don't worry about it."

I remember the sneers of others when I had to hold up the line trying
to figure my vouchers out.

When it was my turn at the checkout, the checker was flustered. She
said that one woman had practically yelled at her earlier by taking too
long. Now, this young woman was frantically trying to get her change drawer
ready.....she really was nearly out of all her change, and she was opening
those confounded plastic rolls of change........at least one penny went
flying to the floor, which she hunted and found. I told her to take a deep
breath. When she apologized again, I said, "If anyone is in that big of a
hurry, they are in too much of a hurry."

Then, I looked at the lady behind me, and said, "Well, I guess that's
easy for me to say."
SHE said, "I'm not in any hurry" (and to the checker) "Take your time".

The young checker woman said to me at least twice, "You're nice". I
finally made her laugh: "Don't tell people that.......if word gets out that
I'm really nice instead of mean like they all think.........people will
be all over me to do stuff for them!"

That lady behind me said, "Ain't that the truth!"

By this time we were all three giggling and the checker gal had relaxed
some. My total came to some dollars and 2 cents. I could have given her
exact change and was fishing for 2 pennies, when the lady behind me put 2
pennies into the checker's hand from her purse. By this time I had 2
pennies in my hand, so, I threw them into the lady's purse. SHE said: "Now
I have to fish those out of the bottom of my purse!"

The checker announced (we were both older than her): "You two girls
are crazy!"

I said to the lady behind me, "Did you hear that, she called us
'girls'." Then to the young gal: "Thanks for the compliment". Lady behind me
had a big smile and said, "Yes, Thanks!"

By this time I was taking my bags out to rearrange them for my bicycle
basket and backpack, but, one lady in the OTHER line had one last thing to
say, "My Mom and Aunts would be insulted if you called them
'girls'.......THEY are 'WOMEN'!!!"

There ya go........I'm at the crossroads of becoming a bitter old
woman, or a young at heart old girl.

Oh, I'm sure there are going to be times when I may get bitter for a
time, but, may God have mercy on me enough to remind me that at my deepest
heart, I am basically just a kind, sharing, giggly,......with a dose of
"justice".......girl.

Thanks Be To God.

Here's to All the Girls!!!

And, Dear Women....it ain't too late to modulate!