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Debbie Sharp Loeb, teacher by training but full-time mom to a disabled son, craftsperson, bead artist, great cook, creative homemaker & terrific spotter of cool new products for everything under the sun, presents Hodgepodge: recipes, household hints, stories about children, friends & relatives, cool stuff, music, & much more.

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Monday, April 19, 2010

(Relationship) Violence Red Flags

From Gavin de Becker on the Oprah website there is a list of four signs that are often missed that may indicate a relationship may become violent.

1. Physical Violence - Being pushed or hit is a major clue that your partner is capable of violence. Being hit ends the mystery. It's over. It doesn't work in relationships and it usually doesn't get any better.
2. Symbolic Violence - This is the destruction of objects to intimidate the other person. Like tearing up wedding pictures.
3. Fast-Paced Relationships - If the pace is accelerated in the relationship when the other person began discussing marriage, moving in together and having children, that itself is a control strategy.
4. Persistence - Anyone who doesn't hear the word no is trying to control you. Persistence doesn't mean you are special. It means they are troubled. Women misinterpret persistence as flattery.
To read more go to:

To combat domestic violence, Gavin has developed a potentially lifesaving tool called MOSAIC. This online assessment is free and protects the user's identity.

It can help to assess these types of situations:
Domestic Violence - Male Offender/Female Offender
Worplace Violence - Concerning a Male/ Concerning a Female
Threat by Student - School/University
Threats - Public Figures/Judicial Officials
Go here to check it out:


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