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Debbie Sharp Loeb, teacher by training but full-time mom to a disabled son, craftsperson, bead artist, great cook, creative homemaker & terrific spotter of cool new products for everything under the sun, presents Hodgepodge: recipes, household hints, stories about children, friends & relatives, cool stuff, music, & much more.

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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Things You Learn From The Movies

The following is from a T-Shirt I gave to Brian for Christmas that I got from Kohl's. I thought you might be able to add some of your own.

  • Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel back and forth.
  • One of a pair of identical twins is sinister
  • Good guys never run out of ammunition or ever have to reload
  • When you turn out the lights, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, but slightly blue.
  • When chased on a staircase, always run upstairs rather than down.
  • If being chased through town, you can take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade at any time of the year.
  • Dogs always know who's bad, and bark at them.
  • A police detective can only solve a case after he has been suspended from duty.
  • It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
  • If staying in a haunted house, women investigate strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
  • A man will show no pain taking the most horrific beating, but will wince when a woman cleans his wounds.
  • Cars never start when you are running away from the bad guy.
  • Honest, hardworking policemen are usually gunned down a day before retirement.
  • If a tapping sound or flashing light represents Morse code, there is always someone near that can decipher the message.
  • During all crime investigations, it is necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
  • TV news bulletins contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
  • Bombs always have big, blinking, beeping, timer displays.
  • Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paper clip.
  • Pretty blonde women can be world-famous experts on nuclear fission, dinosaurs, hieroglyphics or anything else at the age of 21.
  • Explosions in space make noise.


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